


Transgender Dysphoria Blues

by KyNotKyle



Series: Sunset Curve and New Music [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: He/They pronouns for Willie, Luke Patterson Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), Mentioned dysphoria, Music, Platonic Affection (tm), Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Willie and Luke are a great duo, luke is an excited puppy when someone mentions music, tagging is not my strongsuit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyNotKyle/pseuds/KyNotKyle
Summary: Music holds so much meaning to Luke and when Willie introduces him to a certain album, it hits him hard.or:Luke was trans in the 90's and seeing it normalized makes him (rightfully) emotional
Relationships: Luke Patterson & Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Sunset Curve and New Music [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131110
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	Transgender Dysphoria Blues

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in literal years so thats my excuse if this is terrible but i had an idea and i felt like writing it so enjoy :)

Luke likes Willie, a lot. Willie understood Luke in a way that Reggie, Bobby, and Alex never could, through no fault of their own of course. Its just that Willie was trans too and they understood how much dysphoria sucked, in a different way than anxiety or sensory issues which Alex or Reggie at least had their own experiences to work with. 

Willie also had killer taste in music which was a one way road directly to Lukes heart. There was so much catching up for Luke to do and Willie was dead set on helping him any chance they could. One day, while browsing through the old music store near where Reggies house had been, Willie comes across a familiar band called Against Me!. He was pretty unfamiliar with most of their work but seeing the album gave him an idea. Luke sees Wilie pause with the album in his hand and gives them a questioning look.

“Whatcha got there?” Luke asks, the corners of his mouth turning up, curiosity piqued.

“Its a band called Against Me! I’m not too familiar with their work but it gives me an idea…” Willie trails off thoughtfully. 

“Do tell,” Luke insists, buzzing a little bit with the happiness he always feels at the prospect of new music.

“Lets go to the studio first, I’ve got an album in mind I want to show you,” they say with an amused look at Lukes excited energy.

When they arrive at the studio Luke pulls the laptop Julie had lent him from the loft and gracelessly flops down on the couch eagerly logging on. “What was the band called again?” Luke asks expectantly. Willie smiles a bit and takes the computer from him.

“Ok first I want to give you a little bit of context about the band,” they say pulling up spotify as they talk, “like I said, I’m not too familiar with the band but I do know a little bit about this album specifically.” He turns the computer towards Luke so he can see the title of the album and the songs on it. The album, titled Transgender Dysphoria Blues, seems to stare him down, reminding him of when he first learned what dysphoria was called from an uptight doctor in the 90s. He is almost too caught up in his memories when Wille begins speaking again. “The lead singer/songwriter of the band came out as a trans woman in 2012 and this album was released in 2014. Its pretty self explanatory what its about, it isnt as sad as it sounds and its not quite what you usually listen to but I feel like you should hear it.”

“Oh...” is all that Luke can manage. This was never something he ever would have imagined back in the 80s or 90s when he was transferring schools to hide his identity and fighting for top surgery and testosterone. Hes seen how far things have come but he’ll always be a little shocked everytime something like this comes up.

He decided that he wants this to be a Moment for him and connects the laptop to the speakers in the studio and turns the volume up so that its the perfect level of loud enough to give it impact but not so loud that itll bother Ray too much (though he isn’t too confident Ray would tell him if it did). He takes a small but measured breath as he hits play, leans back in the couch, and allows the music fill the room. 

Luke isn’t confident he could really say what he was expecting but what he got was far from it. Willie was right, the first song wasn’t sad, it certainly wasn’t happy but something about that makes him fall in love instantly. As the song ends he looks at Willie, who had been moving slightly to the beat of the song, with an near unreadable expression. There are many emotions swirling inside of Luke in that moment and he cant quite place some of them. What he is not expecting is the tear that escapes and slides down his cheek landing on the pillow he isnt entirely sure when he grabbed. As he realises what just happened he swipes at his face with a sort of determination, using the sleeve of one of Reggies flannels to erase the evidence, and lets out a short laugh before Willie raises his eyebrows at him and opens his arms offering a hug. 

Luke all but throws himself at Willie and all resemblance of composure melts away, soft sobs are muffled in Willies sweater and he distantly thinks about the wet patch forming on their shoulder. Softly stroking his hair they allow him to let everything out until his breaths begin to even out again.

“Sorry, I dont know what happened-” Luke begins before Wille cuts him off.

“Hey dont worry about it man I get it, things are so different now even from when I was a kid and sometimes its the little things that get you right in the feels. I cried over a pair of socks the other day.” Luke chuckles at that and pulls back away from Willie for just a moment before dragging a blanket over the two of them and kicking off his shoes at the same time. 

“Cuddles,” he states rather than asks before Wille even gets a chance to question what was happening and Luke buries himself even further into their chest. "You give good hugs and I'm sad so just let it happen." Willie breathes a small laugh and wraps their arms around Luke, pulling him closer.

On his worst Dysphoria Days, Luke is almost always listening to the album through his headphones. He never tells the other band members but Willie always knows that when he sees Luke listening to or humming it under his breath its their cue to send him a comforting text or come to him with a supply of kind words, chocolate, and hugs, and Luke could not be more grateful.


End file.
